The pain
by The-Ghost Wolf
Summary: Feel the pain of a mother whos kit is becoming an apprentice, feel the pain as she realizes that she will no longer see her kit. Feel the pain.


I am the old she-cat the oldest queen, Honeyflight, I took a glance at my one surviving kit, the strongest one, I named her Dovekit, named after my mother. Dovekit was going to be apprenticed today, I've done this once, but they weren't the same, Bumbleheart, that is his name, was apprenticed soon after my apprentice got there warrior name. I had spent no time with Bumbleheart, so it was not the same. I stole one glance at Dovekit.

"Dovekit, will you visit me?"

Pain ached in my eyes as I forced myself to ask the question, which I learned, the kits who awnser the question usually lie.

"Yes mommy!"

She squeaked, confusion in her eyes.

My kit- My precious six moon kit, Dovekit. She was getting apprenticed next sunhigh. I licked her fur as she curled up around me and fell asleep, half the night I stared at her, wondering how I would feel without her. Next thing I know, I'm in deep sleep. I dream of Dovekit becoming a warrior, and her yelling at me to join the elders, she was harsh, I dont think my sweet little Dovekit would do that, she wouldn't!

"Let all cats old enough to jump the highest tree gather under the highrose for a Clan meeting!"

I glanced at Dovekit, wondering who her mentor will be, who her mate would be. She was the perfect kit, a white kit with sparkling ice blue eyes, the ones who lit up the night. She had her fur washed and she was about to rush away to the HighRose before I put my tail over her.

"Dovekit, will you visit me every day?"

"Yes"

She replied, getting impatient, I licked her fur and she ducked away, lashing her paw.

I flinched from shock, Dovekit wouldnt do this.

Soon, my mate, her father, padded in.

Buzzardclaw, my mate, was meowing to the Dovekit.

"Dovekit, are you ready?"  
"Yes!"

She squeaked, becoming more inoccent.

I blinked, I must be dreaming. It hasant been six moons already, has it? 

They both padded out calmly, I was on there tail.

"Dovekit, please step forward"

I seen Thornstar meow, his golden pelt glowing in the sun.

_Shes growing older, she wont need me anymore._ I slowly realized. _She'll be a good apprentice._

"_StarClan why?"_

I thought to StarClan,

"I, Thornstar, leader of ShadeClan call upon StarClan, (StarClan) to view this apprentice as she trains her and learns the way of your noble code her mentor will be Addertail"

"Addertail!"

My precious, little Dovekit meowed, she looked so innocent, after this I'll take her to the nursery and we can go to- I forgot, she was becoming an apprentice.

Addertail and her touched noses, Dovekit was a bit to happy about her mentor, and realization dawned upon me.

_She likes Addertail, and worse, Addertail is the medicine cat!_

One glance from Dovepaw told me everything,

She never loved me,

She never liked me,

She didn't want to be in ShadeClan,

She wanted to be away from me,

She wanted me to die,

All she wanted,

Was Addertail.

"Dovepaw! Dovepaw! Dovepaw!"

The Clan chanted.

I raced up to the HighRose(Its a stone with a bunch of roses on the top)

and meowed quietly to Thornstar.

"I want to become an elder"  
He nodded his head.

"Are deputy, Honeyflight, are you sure you would like to give up your warrior jobs and continue your life as an elder?"  
I nodded my head.

"Than we grant you are wishes of a long lasting life and rest"

He meowed, not saying each word normally.

_This is my only way to get close to Dovepaw! She has to help the elders a lot! She'll always be in my view- That way she dosent have kits-What am I thinking? She's loyal! _I argued with myself _You dont know that_ a voice that didnt belong to me echoed in my head, and I dipped my head and padded into the elders den, I meowed to Stumpytail

"She hates me"

Dovepaw padded in and scowled.

"I'm leaving with Addertail"  
"WHAT?"  
I yowled at the top of my lungs.  
She nodded, the hate coming off her in waves, I suddenly blinked my eyes and I saw little Dovekit next to me, I had been dreaming! Dovekit was still one moon old! Oh Dovekit, Please, do not let that happen

"I love you Dovekit, so does your father, And Dovekit, stay away from Addertail"

"Why mommy?"

She lifted her head

I shook my head

"You will know sooner or later"

I murmured into her fur as I slowly fell asleep, meeting StarClan.

"Keep Dovekit away from Addertail"  
I dipped my head and I meowed as if I were an apprentice answering a mentors question.  
"I promise I will StarClan, I promise..."

They dipped there head and meowed.

"If Dovekit chooses the path of a medicine cat"

They stopped.

"ShadeClan will be doomed"  
I woke up to see Dovekit look at me with hopefull eyes.

"Can I go play with Fernkit?"

"Yes"

I meowed, watching her, she turned back.

"Mommy, guess what?"  
"What?"

I meowed, actually interested.

"I'm going to be medicine cat apprentice!"


End file.
